wp nav menu not showing proper parent child relationships

I have been developing with wordpress for quite some time now and run a development server with over 150 wordpress installs .. this newest wierd issue i have found has me stumped please help … I have provided some screenshots for clarification

1) https://new.nolagraphics.com/pages-list-tree.jpg
The first image here is of my pages you will see i have an extensive page based sitemap there.. its like 4 and 5 levels deep as page / subpage in some cases and at the 4th and 5th level in some cases there are as many as 13-20 children pages (the numbers in the parenthesis next to the page name are the number of subs under that page)

2) https://new.nolagraphics.com/wp-nav-menu-pages-normal.jpg
In this image you will see some of my pages which retain and display their page based hierarchy properly If you were to scroll down in the list you would see this quickly starts to break ..

(my structure is broken up by country then event then under the event name should be the specific sets of pages for that event)

3) https://new.nolagraphics.com/wp-nav-menu-pages.jpg
as you can see here the countries “china” “europe” and “india” clearly have no subs under them and as you can see when compared to image number 1 in my post here europe should have like 11 subs china should have like 14 there should be a bunch more listed there but as you see just the top level pages is listed.

4) https://new.nolagraphics.com/pages-no-subpage-relation.jpg
whats even stranger … is in the pagniated version of the “pages” box on the menu page when you click the pagniated “2” to go to the second page of pagniated page results you will see all those pages but they retain NO relation with their parent page..

This is driving me mad as now i have created this really deep linked content structure and now it seems some sort of core functionality is failing.. heres some other development details

heres a phpinfo page form my server the same one that that particular site is on
https://nolagraphics.com/phpinfo/

I HAVE TRIED:
Disabling all plugins = same result
ENABLING only the 2011 theme = same result
Disabling all plugins & ENABLING only the 2011 theme = same result

so this does not seem to be something that is affected by the content of the site this “seems” to me to be wordpress …

Please help i gotta get this site launched this week i have all the content and themeing complete just need to i set the pages into the nav so they can manage it!

[No bumping, thank you.]