WordPress Multisite ERR_TOO_MANY_REDIRECTS

I know this topic has been posted countless times but I’ve found nothing helpful in the other topics. I’m a seasoned WordPress Developer who has deployed countless multisite installs so I’m genuinely stumped on this one. For whatever reason this one install always results in ERR_TOO_MANY_REDIRECTS if I try to access the Dashboard of any site beside the primary one.

Is at deploy.theportlandcompany.com

Here’s my wp-config.php https://pastebin.com/Z0Ua6kGw
Here’s my htaccess: https://pastebin.com/mjZtTKXR

I’ve deactivated all my Plugins as well.