Twenty Fourteen does not look remotely similar to advertised layout

I thought so too. The I came across the demo. Maybe check this live demo: twentyfourteendemo.wordpress.com/html-elements/

So why the hell would they show such a beautiful looking theme if you cannot achieve anything resembling that advertisement – that is false advertising!

Look, guys.I don’t know anything, but I’m a writer who was trying to use twenty fourteen and wanted to change colors, too.I also didn’t understand about the features. I found a child theme of twenty fourteen hear on WordPress where you can change the colors in customize. It’s called Anjirai. I’m still working on it, but at least the black is gone and I’m figuring the rest out.

Also, until you put those pictures in on the featured pages or featured posts they don’t show up, but when you have 3 pages done they drop into place. The picture size is really important though.

I hope this helps. This is truly the blind leading the blind, but I think it will be worth learning more. ON TO FIGURING OUT HOW TO CHANGE WIDTHS!

I’m not sure what you mean by false advertising. It is pretty basic to have the site look like the demo site. You just need to utilize a lot of featured images and set up with the two menus.

What kind of content are you going to have on your site? It should be based around posts and should be organized into categories if you want it to look like the demo.
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the demo is for the WordPress.com version of the theme – if you use the theme with the same name on a self-hosted site you have a different version of the theme, and you will need to customize it with content and images to get a similar look as the .com demo.

https://en.support.wordpress.com/com-vs-org/

Why in hell don’t they say this Theme only works as in in .COM? My client is not up to ‘customizing’ it!