Hi @maaaartin,
Whereas the XML Sitemap should dynamically update after any modification to it, if the site or server is caching the sitemap this can cause it to not update right away. We understand you’ve already confirmed the server cache. We also have additional information on this at the following link: https://kb.yoast.com/kb/sitemap-does-not-update/.
If you are still experiencing an issue with the sitemap not updating after checking your caching settings, you can also force a cache reset by temporarily disabling the sitemap feature, and then re-enabling. To do so please perform the following steps:
In WordPress go to SEO>General>Features
1. For ‘XML Sitemaps’ Toggle the switch to ‘Disabled.’
2. Click ‘Save Changes.’
3. Toggle the switch back to ‘Enabled.’
4. Click ‘Save Changes.’
We also have a guide on how to enable/disable XML Sitemaps here: https://kb.yoast.com/kb/enable-xml-sitemaps-in-the-wordpress-seo-plugin/
Also, try updating the permalink settings and see if the issue resolve.
Can you please try the aforementioned suggestions and letting us know whether it resolves your issue and you are able to successfully update the sitemap?