music_man : better post your comments on the blog entry, because I get notified of new comments there, unlike on this thread.
0. “By Law”, I really have no idea. However, you can change the template of the emails easily in the options/email users tab of your administration panel.
1. Did you manage to send an email ? At least you should be able to send an email to the administrators (that is the group that contains at least 1 user: you)
2. Your workaround should show the button, but as your post is not yet saved I think this won’t work. That was the reason to get the button only when you edit the post. Logic is: publish you post first, and then notify users from the manage->edit post panel.
Solution would be to first save the post (publish) and then redirect to the email page. Unfortunatly I don’t really have time to implement this but your modification can be included in the plugin and credited if you manage to make it.