bumping means responding to your post to get it back to the top before other people have answered it, it’s essentially spamming your thread to the top which is against the rules
The appearance tab should be below comments and above plugins, can you post a screenshot of what you see? Once you find appearance, there’s a button under themes that says “activate theme”
Also are you on wordpress installed on a third party server or is your url something like xxxxxx.wordpress.com ?
Beating up on unpaid volunteers that are trying to help you with software that did not cost you anything tends not to win friends – if you “i need my moneys worth” there is a section here to request paid help from independent consultants.
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