get_comments() order not working

Using WordPress as a guestbook essentially. Though, instead of having each person submit a “post”, just having them submit “comments” on a page called blog. It’s the only page on the site that allows for commenting.

THE CHALLENGES:
#1) Group comments together under a unified date.
#2) Put most recent comments at the top.
#3) Display “comment” results in search.

Was able to setup #1 just using a bit of PHP code, but now wondering if this might be my problem.

But anyway, here’s the code, and no matter which order (ASC or DESC) I put on “order”, it just doesn’t do anything. “post_id” will update accordingly, just not the order. Been two days, killing me. Decided to post. Any help would be greatly appreciated. And if you happen to know the answer to #3, I’ll take that too as I’m still doing my research on it.

[Code moderated as per the Forum Rules. Please use the pastebin]