Upgrade Caused: Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 262144 bytes exhausted

Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 262144 bytes exhausted …

I got this error after upgrading to wp 3.2.1. The site appears functional to visitors (aside from plugins not being functional, since they were disabled for the upgrade), but i cannot log into the admin at all without this message. The file location of the error changes depending on the area of the admin I try to access, but I cannot get into ANYTHING.

I’ve read lots and lots of support comments on this before resorting to asking the question and I have done all of the following:

1. spoken to goDaddy and they say my “max allowed php whatever” is 256mb

2. In my php.ini file, added this code: memory_limit = 256M (placement below):

SMTP = relay-hosting.secureserver.net
url_rewriter.tags = “a=href,area=href,frame=src,input=src,form=,fieldset=”

memory_limit = 256M
post_max_size = 197M

3. In my wp-config.php file added this code: define(‘WP_MEMORY_LIMIT’, ‘256M’ ); (placement below):

<?php
define(‘WP_MEMORY_LIMIT’, ‘256M’ );

/**
* The base configurations of the WordPress.

4. Also tried adding this code to the .htaccess file: php_value memory_limit 256M

However this created an “internal server error” and took the site completely offline, so I removed it.

I’ve tried each of these options alone and in various combinations with each other. Nothing has worked.

Prior to upgraded, I disabled all plugins. Since I don’t have any admin access, I have not re-enabled any plugins to my knowledge.

I’m also NOT savvy with this stuff, I can follow directions well, but I need them to be very explicit.

Is my placement of the code in the files is incorrect? None of the previous posts I read on this subject said precisely where to add the code, just to add the line into the file. I’m sure it makes a difference where you put it?

Any other alternatives to this? Changing to the default theme I know is a remaining option, but not one I fully understand. First – early on (before I knew better) I had a designer make some custom changes to my theme and he did NOT use a child theme, so getting it back to how it is now would not be possible? Also I’m honestly not even sure what switching to the default theme does to FIX this…and how I can prevent it from happening again. Can someone help here as well?

Any/all info/advice/ANYTHING to help with this would be greatly appreciated! Feeling slightly (understatement) desperate!

Thank you SO MUCH in advance for any help provided!
Cathy