Unique .htaccess/pretty permalink Q

.htaccess is in the appropriate root directory. This is verified because when I delete it I get the “If your .htaccess file were writable, we….” and when I re-create it and chmod 666 it, wordpress thinks it’s writable again.

Here’s the thing though…. WordPress isn’t writing to it upon clicking “Update Permalink Structure”

So if I edit it myself, and add the requisite:
<IfModule mod_rewrite.c>
RewriteEngine On
RewriteBase /
RewriteCond %{REQUEST_FILENAME} !-f
RewriteCond %{REQUEST_FILENAME} !-d
RewriteRule . /index.php [L]
</IfModule>

Still no worky.

Furthermore, I edited my Apache2’s conf.d file to AllowOverride All in both spots, and the restarted the Apache2 server.

WHAT AM I MISSING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I’m going crazy reading the support, there seems to be nothing else.

I even forced Apache = 1 int the Vars.php page. Apache2 seems to have the mod_rewrite module, or at least /usr/lib/apache2/modules/mod_rewrite.so exists….. I even copied it to the mods-enabled directory even though I know that is useless

HELP! PLEASE!