load spikes on post and edit!

I’m in some hot water with my host.

I’ve read the various support threads here regarding people who have also seen this sort of issue with their hosts, and followed the directions:

use WP-Cache
Keep my database(s) optimized
backup, re install from scratch, restore
Talk with your webhost support and be sure that your php and mysql are up to date

I am still in hot water with my web host (CWI Hosting)

I’ve read about this happening with anyone from Media Temple, Dreamhost, and really no predictable “type” of hosting service. So it isn’t an issue of shared hosting, grid hosting, or virtual private hosting. It doesn’t even seem to be (based on the variety of reports along these lines) relegated to people who have many installs of wordpress (as I do) or lone installs. Further, while many things are suggested in the threads I’ve found, there are no real solutions, and that concerns me.

I am on a shared server, linux, apache, php and mysql are up to date, and well maintained. I have 10 installs of WordPress on my site, under 8 different domains, and each has its own database.

The essential symptom seems to be that when editing or posting on my primary blog install of wordpress (of course it’s mine) which has a 25 meg database (longest running of my wordpress installs) the whole install of wordpress seems to hang.

At first I thought this was WordPress trying to create the page preview. I even posted about slow functionality here in support, and never really got an answer.

What I noticed was that while my wp-admin/edit.php or post.php was stalled, my entire domain, sitewide and between domains, would hang. No one could access any page on my server.

This is also true for anyone who happens to be on the same server as I am… so any other customers who had the misfortune of sharing server space with me are hung up while WordPress tries to work out the edit or the post.

In the last couple months (I have kept up with all the updates here) this process began to crash the mysql server. So writing to my blog would cause a mysql crash.

Finally, this mysql crash has grown to actually crashing the entire server itself.

This is why I am in hot water with my server.

My site has been suspended several times, and I am in communication with the host, we are watching it, and can not see any outside issue which is causeing the crashing. It’s actually my edits and posts which are causing this.

I really need help with this. 25 meg is NOT an unthinkable size for a msql database, and I’d really like to keep going on my blog, and stay with WordPress.

How can I solve this problem?
Please help.